The Last Lights Of The Christmas Tree

Twelfth Night seems to have come round very quickly this year. I have spent a happy afternoon in the glow of the tree lights for what will be the last time. I have kept the curtain open so I can watch the blustery afternoon light fade first into twilight and now into the soft blanket of evening darkness. The room is lit only by the tree, a pillar candle, and my writing lamp. The corners of the room are dark, and it has been really peaceful and calming to sit in here.

There is something really lovely about being at home in the afternoon. Recently, it qualifies as one of my favourite things. I worked this morning, and it is one of the rare half days when I don't have to stay once the library has closed, to do admin and so on. Being on the first floor, we have a nice view out across town. From my kitchen, I could see the trees whipping around in the wind. It brought to mind a favourite poem by Christina Rossetti, which I once embroidered in cross stitch, along with the silhouette of two figures flying kites in the wind. It was all in black and white, except for the three bows on the kite string.

Who has seen the wind?
Neither I nor you
But when the leaves hang trembling
The wind is passing through

Who has seen the wind?
Neither you nor I
But when the trees bow down their heads
The wind is passing by.

It has been so blustery the last few days, that I have left the house with my hair tied up, to stop it being whipped into medusa tangles! I don't mind the wind, as long as it is not causing danger, as it has in Scotland. When it is just 'normal' but blustery, I always feel really invigorated for walking in it.

I am trying to feel invigorated this afternoon, because I have an interview tomorrow. I can't ever remember feeling so calm and unbothered about an interview, but I have been doing my prep, as much as I can, so I am prepared as possible. I am in a bit of conflict though. You see, there are two jobs that I am in the running for. Both are temporary, so aren't a long term solution to my situation, but both will offer me respite from my present working situation, and put money in the bank while I find something long term and permanent. The job I am being interviewed for tomorrow is more money, but means travel on the train (at £136.40 a month!!) so may end up meaning I have less at the end of the month than the other lower paid job. It is also a lot more responsibility than the other job, and it would mean having to leave my darling little library on top of the hill, although only temporarily, as I could go back to it. There are two other really strong candidates.

The other job is a five minute walk from home, less money, but no travel costs, less responsibility, I would not have to give up my little library on the hill, and I get the feeling that there are enough posts for the number of candidates, although I could be wrong about that. There may be a little wrangling about late nights and weekends, but that is a bridge to cross later.

So, what to do? My heart tells me that option b is the easier choice, that would be gentler on me. But I also know that option a is something I could really get my teeth into, and would probably be better for my career and cv long term. Easy isn't always the best thing, is it? Or is my utter sense of calm a sense of knowing that it isn't really right for me? Who knows! I think the thing to do is to go in tomorrow and try and acquit myself gracefully and intelligently, give a good account of myself, and see where the chips fall. I do not expect to be offered the job by any stretch of the imagination, but it would be lovely to be offered one of them. So do keep your fingers crossed for me!

There is a Sainsburys nearby the library in Braintree, so I will be dropping in before or after my interview to buy a copy of their magazine...Cherry Menlove, whose blog I really enjoy has a column in there, starting from the current issue. She also writes a column for Making Magazine, which is worth checking out.

Other plans for tomorrow include trying out a new teashop in town with my lovely friend Wendy.

This evening, it is all about gentle, soft and warm. I have in the slow cooker a recipe of my own invention, which is currently perfuming the flat. If it turns out well, I will share it with you. It is basically chicken and lots of vegetables with some pearl barley cooked in a tarragon cider stock, which I plan to enrich with a little creme fraiche at the end. I have a sunflower plait to serve with it, for mopping up the sauce.

Of course, there is the tree to take down too...but I quite like that. The laying away of Christmas ready for next year. The sweeping away of all ready for a new start. I am really ready for a new start. Wherever you are, Happy Twelfth Night!

Love
Mimi
xxx

Chilly Days

My eyes have felt gritty and red the last few days, and I have started that tell-tale tickle in the back of my throat that I know means I am going down with the latest cold that is doing the rounds. It has made me want to snuggle and be warm and cozy. Last night, I definitely had the shivers, and wrapped myself in my favourite white shawl while I half-watched Michel Roux's 'Service' on BBC2. So to me it has been a chilly few days, but mental chillyness rather than actual chillynes...until this morning!

I was just getting dressed ready for work, arranging my new peacock-feather fascinator in my hair, when my phoned twinkled to say I had a text message. It was lovely Carl, telling me to be sure to wrap up warm as it was very cold outside. I am so glad he warned me! It was, quite literally, freezing! I really needed my gloves and scarf, and I was pleased that I had my travel mug with me to get a cup of tea for the bus. I took my shawl to work today so I could wear it while the heaters tried to blow some heat into my little library.

The light has that brittle haziness to it that really cold days have. There is what we called when I was a little girl 'dragon's breath' in the air. People's cheeks are rosy, and the pavements glittered slightly with frost this morning. The daffodils are not out yet, but I did come away from the WI Market this morning with the most glorious snowdrop in a little pot. It is a double snowdrop with tiny green flecks on its skirt. It looks for all the world like a ballerina's tutu.

This is the weather for electric blankets and hot chocolate, warm baths and dressing gowns warmedon the radiator, chicken stew and dumpings, a blanket over your knees.

Daily Rhythm

I think I have mentioned before the habit I have of saving newspaper clippings, magazine articles and photocopies sandwiched in amongst the leaves of my books. Well when I opened my sunglasses case this morning, a scrap of paper fluttered to the ground. When I examined it, I realised it was my horoscope from last summer some time! I am not into astrology in a big way, but I do like Jonathan Cainer's stars, I think of them as a kind of personal weather forecast. Anyway, in this scrap that I had saved, he talked of new beginnings...how new years are new beginnings, but how nature offers us many more- every sunrise, every sunset, even every breath in and out we take can be a new beginning. I remember why I liked it so much at the time, and I am glad that I saved it. When I read it this morning, it set me thinking about new starts.

I am about to go through a big upheaval at one of my jobs which I know is going to mean a new start for me in one way or another. Of course I hope for the best, but you never know. Still, I am trying to look at it as a new start rather than a sad ending, and I don't know what the outcome will be yet. Also, it being a new year, I have got some new years targets and resolutions made. One of which is taken from a puttery treat over at brocante home, in which Alison suggests making a list of 12 books you would love to read this year, and buying them or ordering them from your library. Of course, me being me I will be borrowing them, and on my tea break at work this afternoon, I started to think about all the books I have heard of recently that I would like to read, and started to make my list. There really is no better place to spend a rainy afternoon than in a tiny village library, with the tip tap tapping of rain on the windowpane making you glad to be indoors. Knowing that there are thousands upon thousands of books just awaiting your command to flit to your side, ready for enjoyment. I definitely want to read the new Sarah Ban Breathnach title, Peace and Plenty, and I think I want to read another Dennis Mackail, although not sure what. I want to spend a bit more time choosing my titles...but if you have any suggestions, I would love to hear them!

Somehow the pitter patter of rain entered into my consciousness, and I found myself almost swaying along to it as I shelved shelf after shelf of books this afternoon! It made me smile, and got me thinking about the pattern my days have fallen into recently. Isn't it wonderful to have a pattern to your days again, after the delightful upheavals of Christmas and New Year?

Every morning, I wake to The Today Programme on Radio 4, and lay in the warmth and the dark for 20 minutes of so until my lovely husband brings me a cup of tea. Then I get up and make our packed lunches and breakfasts (today was pear porridge, delicious!) while he washes and dresses. We eat together, and I send him off to work with a kiss. Then it is my turn to ready myself for the day, and walk to work. While I am at work, I enjoy it, but also quietly look forward to our evening. I get in first, and put the kettle on, then get the dinner ready and have a little potter about. Unless it is snowing or raining, I will fling open every window for as long as I can, before shutting them and lighting some candles. When Carl comes home, I always always say 'welcome home!' and then we share our dinner. Afterwards, one of us washes up while the other has a bath, then the other one has a bath. While the baths are happening, our electric blanket is on warming the bed, and we go to bed with our books and snuggle in the warmth.

Simple days, but blissful. I like the routine, the regularity. Of course, we don't do this every single night...I go to a stitching club every month or so, and a book club every month, and a friend comes to tea each Monday....but this is the every day fabric of our lives.

Wherever you are this evening, I hope that life for you seems to be beautiful ribbon on a spool that you can't wait to unfurl. A big thank you to the lovely Dinah...your comments have made me feel so glad to be back here and posting again! And a warm good evening and best wishes to all of you.

love, Mimi xxx