Sunday 10 June 2012

A New Chapter

Hello there...it's been a while, hasn't it? The virus I caught just before my birthday has taken a long long time to recover from. About three weeks ago, my poor husband went down with it, and having had a few weeks of finally feeling well again, I am back in the sick bay too. I am tired. My poor laptop has been out of action too...for quite a few weeks I was feeling too ill to post, and then too uninspired, and then just as I started to draft posts out in my head again, my poor laptop died. Happily, I got home on Friday to discover that the postman had delivered the vital part, and at last, at last it is working again. And although I am not feeling on top form, at last, I feel like I am starting to work again. So, a new chapter. I spent a lot of time pondering this evening, should I start a new blog? Have I been away from here too long? Is this still the right home for me? So much has changed over the last year, and the year ahead looks like it is going to be a year of change too. Let's just start with the 'about me' part of my blog. Although I believe that I will always carry working in a library with me all my life (in a good way!) I haven't worked in one since March. It seems like a lot longer, a lifetime ago. I have discovered that I love my new job, and am good at it. Even my new job isn't the job I signed up for, but again in a good way. I am officially doing business administration (in my head I am working in Mad Men!) but I did PA work for about 6 weeks, and after a short break am doing some more PA work as well as the admin. So I am at a fork in the road. I adore working full time. I don't know how many full time openings there are in libraries at the level I worked at before. Well I do, there aren't any. And I don't know if I could go back. The ideal would be for my little library up on the hill to be full time, but being serious and realistic, that is just never going to happen. Holding down a myriad of other little jobs besides that was exhausting. So I have some big choices to make, workwise. The one thing I do know for sure though, is that I need to work full time, or as near to it as possible, because I just feel happier when I do. So it looks like I need to re-write my 'about me', at least in some parts. There is a lot unchanged. I am still me I still love my vintage tea china and reading and crafting and cooking and the simple pleasures in life. I still wear my bright red lipstick and and flick of black eye-liner. I don't think those things will ever change, at least, I hope not. But there is big change coming my way. Perhaps it is because I have just finished reading Peaches For Monsieur Le Cure by Joanne Harris, in which the winds of change are a theme, but I feel the first breezes of change ruffling my hair. This time next year, all being well, and if all goes to plan, I will be writing this blog from our new home that we hope to buy, and to be preparing to add to our little family of two. But really, it is this blog that I want to write, and to this blog that I have returned several times after a break, to start a new chapter. Essentially and selfishly, this is a blog about me and my life. For a little while it became a wedding blog, when I was getting married. Every Christmas it becomes a Christmas blog; it is a food blog and a craft blog and a musing-out-loud blog as the mood takes me. It is extraordinarily wonderful to have somewhere to voice the thoughts that float through my mind. It is almost like painting a picture that is never finished, that I can add to at any time. It has been a real gift to me for so many years, that I just don't want to leave it behind. And really, as it is about my life, then it seems that as my life unfolds, then so can my blog. And much of what the next chapters hold are related to what is already here. The focus on my home and domestic life as we prepare to find a home of our own to buy. Recipes to cook to put me in the best health I can be. All the high days and holidays we share along the way. I am so glad to have here to come back to. Now that my lovely husband and I have sat down and had a long talk about the next stages of our life, even though it is something we have both been thinking about for a while, it suddenly feels like advent, leading up to Christmas. Anticipation and preparation, a new chapter just around the corner. But before that new chapter, the prologue, which is where I am starting. As well as the practical side of deciding which area to search for a home in, looking into a mortgage and so on, there is the deciding what kind of home we hope to find. The putting together of mood boards on pintrest and making lists of things we will need to buy that are currently included in our rented little flat (such as a fridge and a cooker) and the kind of feel that we want our home to have. Then there is the preparation to move, which I want to start even now. After a year it is so easy to accumulate more things than you need, and I by no means want to give away things we love, but at the same time a slow gentle editing process started now is probably a very wise idea. I imagine that our home will have small but cosy rooms, by the constraints of budget, so I don't want to clutter them with things we don't love. I want to make sure our domestic routines are entirely right for us now and support us to help us make the transition to being home owners. And then of course, I really need to put some focussed effort into my own health and wellbeing, and of course of that of Carl, so that when we have our nest and decide the time is right, we are both in the best health to be parents. Although I wouldn't change the life I have for the world, there is a part of me that wishes I could have lived just for a little while in the Little House On The Prairie world. Life was so simple then. It was not uncommon then for the man to build the house. The lady would bring the quilts she had been sewing since she was a little girl. Everything would be simple, beautiful and functional, reminiscent of the Shakers. There were stores that sold a myriad of things, and there they would go to trade furs for fabric to make new clothes, shoes, and dried goods for the kitchen. That appeals, somehow. I think it is because today it isn't as possible to just start from scratch. Even though Carl and I have never lived anywhere other than our family home and together, we didn't by any stretch have the money to buy a new one of everything we needed. So much we have been given, and are so grateful for. Once you have furniture, it seems wrong to buy new things, even second hand new things, just because you prefer them to what you already have. I visited a friend's flat a while ago, and it was amazingly beautiful, everything was in exactly her taste, which was wonderful. And yet, I know that the things she loves now, the style that she adores she only discovered a year ago. So everything in there has been changed or bought new since then. I guess some people can just shed their skins, in a way. I don't criticise that, it just hadn't occurred to me that I could, really. So I am by no means about to toss all our possessions out and start over, but I am starting a lot of mood boards on Pintrest, as when we do invest in new things, I want them to really suit us. When we decorate our new home, I want it to be just in our taste. I want to look at what we have and think about decorating or renovating to make it more 'us'. I know it sounds so egocentric, but I want our new home to be the kind of place where people walk in and are struck with how 'us' it is. I hope it doesn't sound like I am dissatisfied with our current home in anyway, because this lovely flat is spacious and in such and ideal location, and we are lucky to have it. But we are not even allowed to hang curtains, much less paint or paper a wall or hang a new lampshade. So where I feel like we have both grown into ourselves and developed our taste and style over the decade we have been together, I want our home to reflect that. So stand by for lots of domesticity and planning and organization and shedding of old ways and taking up of new. But through it all, there will still be the chink of teacups and the click of knitting needles. I have missed it here, and missed all of you. I haven't read any of the comments you have been kind enough to leave since I went missing in action yet. I am tired now, and need a cup of chamomile tea and an early night. But I will read them, and hope you will all come and visit again soon. Love Mimi xxx

6 comments:

Anonymous said...

I have so missed you but am sorry to hear you have been feeling so poorly. Let's hope you will be back to your normal self real soon. Sounds exciting all your plans for the next chapter of your lives. I wish you all the very best and hope all your dreams come true Hugs. Maureen x

Debbie said...

So glad to see you back here, Mimi! I have missed your lovely posts, and said that to Carla only yesterday on twitter.

I am in a similar position, despite being older than you, as I was a single parent for 17 years, from the age of 23 to 40, and did not have a lot of money. Then when I met my lovely husband, he was made redundant two months after we met and it was 16 months before he found work, and I had to stop work in 2010 due to ill health. Then we had to save for a wedding! We married in April 2011 and have started the slow process of making the house more 'us'.

Most of what we have is a mismatch of things friends and family gave to me years ago, a few things my husband brought with him, but most of it isn't to our taste and the house needs updating and redecorating in a style we both like. We will do it bit by bit and enjoy the process, as I am sure you will too, when you get your new home.

What an exciting time of anticipation for you!

Jackie said...

Hi Mimi,

Just a quick Welcome Back.

It's so nice to read your words again. I look forward to following you in the next exciting stages of your lives together.

I'm off to check out the books you've mentioned now!

Best Wishes

Jackie

Yvonne said...

I missed your wonderful writing. Glad to see that you are back!!

Anonymous said...

Hi Mimi,
So glad you are back.
I've missed your posts.
Thank you for sharing your thoughts and ideas with us as I
find your blog to be delightful and cozy place.
Karen

Dinahsoar said...

Welcome back Mimi. We've wondered how you are faring and missed you too.


Have you considered adding pages to your blog? That might work for you, allowing you to categorize some posts, etc.

Or you might start a new blog and make the final post on this blog one letting readers know you've moved.

The winds of change can be mysterious but also an adventure if we are open to the possibilities. Sounds like there are a lot of good things coming your way.