Tuesday 26 September 2006

My Heart Is Full

Oh, you know, my heart is just full of loveliness! Everyone has been so sweet about my last post- no one has told me I am wretched selfish girl! You have been so supportive- and backing up kind words with offers of help.

Friends at work who have heard the live version of my sob have been lovely, and you my kind blogging friends are wonderful too.

Thank you, thank you, thank you.

Monday 25 September 2006

Feeling Blue

On the whole, I try and keep my blog a happy friendly place, as I am, on the whole, a happy person. But I also appreciate this as a little place where I can speak my mind when I am feeling blue- I feel like this is a space where I can speak and be understood. And since no one here is connected with what I am about to unload about, I don’t have to worry about offending anyone involved…

The thing is, our wedding. Well not our wedding itself, but the Wedding part of it- the reception, the dresses and all that. We do not have a huge budget, and even if we did have lots of cash to spare, a Big Wedding would not be us. So a lot of the things we are doing, we are doing them because they make our day more personal, and because they also save money- a happy combination.

Our day, so far. I am making the invitations. I am going to use a rubber stamp to emboss our names in the middle of a card, then use a craft punch to make some flowers in shades of pink, which I will stick randomly around our names. One or two of the flowers will have a little tiny diamante at the centre. Then inside, a slip of paper printed from the computer in a pretty font with the invitation, directions etc.

We are getting married in a little country church. I got my dress in a sample sale, and my Mum is doing the flowers (not the church flowers, but the people flowers if that makes sense). The plan from then on was to go to this little family run golf club about ten minutes away, to have a welcome drink and nibbles on the lawn, while we have a few photos.

In for afternoon tea- sandwiches, salad, quiche, cold meat and a baked salmon, served from a buffet, then trays of scones, strawberries and profiteroles served to the tables. We will have background music on the CD player, and if I can find enough money, I have found a man who can look at a person, then cut their silhouette portrait in two minutes- I would love to have him there, wandering amongst the tables.

Then we cut the cake, have speeches with sparkling wine for the toast, and move from the upstairs restaurant to downstairs for tea, coffee, and cake. Carl and I have our first dance on the lawn, then that is it- we go off, people go off, all in a flutter of confetti.

We got the quote, and it was around £5,000. This is where the trouble begins, you see. I am happy to lose the canapés, which with the welcome drinks account for £825 of the quote. I think the sparkling wine is overpriced- £19 a bottle, and it was meant to be an economy, instead of champagne!! I want to pay the £8 corkage and go buy a case of fizz from Majestic. But this is it- when I was talking about it with my in-law to be, she thought we were not being ripped off over the drink and suggested having just sandwiches for the reception.

Now I am not knocking anyone who wants to have a sandwich reception, but in my mind, that is what I would want for a Christening. I don’t feel like I am asking for ever such a lot, and am happy to lose the canapés, the welcome drink,- I don’t even really want to have wine on the tables as I don’t think it is appropriate for afternoon tea, but have been shouted down.

I am wearing a sample sale gown (which I do love, but it would be nice to have one that no one else has worn, that is just mine), I am making my own invitations, sorting out the flowers, having a cake from the supermarket, and it is getting to the point where I feel there is not much more we can do to economise, to cut back, to reel it in. There is not much more I want to do. I feel like the compromises we have made, we have made in good spirit- and as I say, mainly because me making the invitations means more to me than buying them, but also it is a tenth of the price.

I don’t mind not having a sit down dinner, not having a posh car, all of that. I know £5,000 is an awful lot of money, but considering the cost of the average wedding now is £17,000 I think we have done rather well. I find it really hard to articulate what I mean, but I feel sad, like I am not asking for very much, and am prepared to do with less than that, but not so very much less that it all feels wrong. I know, I know the day is about being married, and that is the most important thing to me. But it is also important to me to share this special day with our family and friends- and if we can’t do that, I am beginning to feel like I would just like to get married on our own and go have tea at the Ritz.

But then again, I feel that I want my family with me, and I don’t want to give up that for the sake of money arguments. (If you are wondering why In-Laws have such an influence, they are making the majority of the financial contribution).

I know it is a bad reaction to stress, but I went and ate a bar of Green and Blacks chocolate at lunch which I know is not the answer, but made me feel better for five minutes. And now I feel bloated and worried that I have spoiled my blog somehow by spilling all of this out here. I will probably take this post down in a few days. But just today, right now, this is how I feel.

Thank you to any lovely person who has read all the way to the end of my little sob!

Thursday 21 September 2006

Today I Am Wearing...

In honour of the lovely Indian Summer we are fortunate enough to be enjoying, I am wearing my white vest top, with my black and white flower print skirt. The skirt is so nice to wear- it is one of those double layer ones, and comes just below the knee, and curves in gently before flaring out. I feel like I want to get air into my lungs, breeze through my hair and gentle sunlight on my skin today

An Aside- My Thoughts Upon Healthy Eating

I am trying to eat delicious, simple, nurturing and nourishing, seasonal food. I am trying to avoid ‘low fat’ varieties and just have less of the full fat things. For example, I picked some blackberries, stewed them lightly with apple, and stirred them into natural bio yoghurt. Rather delicious, and it felt quite spoiling.

As I discover or concoct them, recipes will follow. Perhaps I shall post the recipe for my favourite five bean vegetable chilli...

I am trying to capture a kind of vibe- part Nigella’s ‘Temple Food’ part Hugh Fearnley Whittingstall’s fresh-from-the-garden thing, and part Jane Clarke’s Bodyfoods philosophy. Oh, and a bit of the sheer enthusiasm of India Knight. Who has a diet book out next year that I can barely wait for, even though I am so against diets . She just writes so enthusiastically...read The Shops to see what I mean!

So far I am feeling good…

Is There A Word For This?

If there isn’t, I wonder what the word should be? Not quite a coincidence, something more…

Well, perhaps there is a word already, and I just don’t know it. As part of my eating healthily kick, I bought some oatibix for breakfast, having decided that oats are a good thing. They are rather nice, but I don’t want to have the same thing every morning, so I thought porridge would be good (well, when this Indian Summer we are enjoying is over, anyway!). So I went into the healthfood shop and became confused by all the different kinds. Logged onto www.pemberley.com one of my favourite websites, went to the Ramble board- and lo! A discussion about porridge (well, oatmeal, but it seems to be the same!).

I spotted Real Simple magazine in our little newsagents, and decided to treat myself to it on payday. (Yes, as if I need to buy more magazines!). I visited my dear friend’s blog http://prettylittleblog.blogspot.com and lo! She is talking about Real Simple magazine!

I idly mentioned to my sister that I had seen fabulous matte gold wrapping paper in Oxfam (the shop that sells the fair-trade chocolate and things, not the general charity shop)- and lo! She had seen it too and had planned to use it this year!

Although I am feeling a bit stressed about the reading I have to do (two for bookgroups, and two that have been lent and recommended to me) I wanted to make a list of books- good books- to read and lo! I visit the ever lovely www.vintagepretty.blogspot.com and she asks for suggestions for good things to read!

Perhaps we are just all really in tune?

Is There A Word For This?

If there isn’t, I wonder what the word should be? Not quite a coincidence, something more…

Well, perhaps there is a word already, and I just don’t know it. As part of my eating healthily kick, I bought some oatibix for breakfast, having decided that oats are a good thing. They are rather nice, but I don’t want to have the same thing every morning, so I thought porridge would be good (well, when this Indian Summer we are enjoying is over, anyway!). So I went into the healthfood shop and became confused by all the different kinds. Logged onto www.pemberley.com one of my favourite websites, went to the Ramble board- and lo! A discussion about porridge (well, oatmeal, but it seems to be the same!).

I spotted Real Simple magazine in our little newsagents, and decided to treat myself to it on payday. (Yes, as if I need to buy more magazines!). I visited my dear friend’s blog http://prettylittleblog.blogspot.com and lo! She is talking about Real Simple magazine!

I idly mentioned to my sister that I had seen fabulous matte gold wrapping paper in Oxfam (the shop that sells the fair-trade chocolate and things, not the general charity shop)- and lo! She had seen it too and had planned to use it this year!

Although I am feeling a bit stressed about the reading I have to do (two for bookgroups, and two that have been lent and recommended to me) I wanted to make a list of books- good books- to read and lo! I visit the ever lovely www.vintagepretty.blogspot.com and she asks for suggestions for good things to read!

Perhaps we are just all really in tune?

Monday 18 September 2006

An Adventure In The Kitchen, And A Plague!

Oh! How I do love Sundays! I must surely have mentioned before how they seem special somehow- perhaps as they are the one day that I never ever have to work. (Although, alas, alack, I have signed up to work several this Autumn as we are short of staff). This Sunday was no different…

After a delightful cup of tea in bed with Radio 4, we went blackberrying in Maldon. I had part of a cappuccino cake I had made left, so we dropped that off with my parents, then went for a nice long walk to gather blackberries. Sadly, so many had died and withered on the bush! We got two small ice cream containers full- enough to make half a bottle of blackberry brandy with some left for a blackberry-apple stew- but I felt sad for all the berries that had gone to waste. We are thinking of going to a different village on Thursday evening to get some more- need to make that other half of a bottle of brandy!

We enjoyed lunch with my parents before setting off back home- where I settled with a pot of tea and the Sunday paper, and then the Boden catalogue! I made a loaf of bread to go with veggie soup ( a new bread machine recipe that uses less salt, no sugar and no milk powder, unlike my old one) and then made lunch for today.

I sat and stitched on my 12 days of Christmas cards (Five go-oo-ld rings!) and watched Spooks. Oh, I am glad that it is back! And I can scarce wait for tonight to see the outcome. Such delicious nonsense!

Now one thing- is anyone else under attack by wave after wave of Daddy Long-Legs? I counted seven in the kitchen this morning! They are everywhere- I even had one flying round my feet in bed the other evening which made me jump out of my skin! Has anyone else found themselves under attack? And short of closing all the windows, is there a nice (ie not soaked-in-chemicals) method of repelling them?

Saturday 16 September 2006

Saturday Morning Musings

I have snatched five minutes from rushing round the library, which is frankly, twitchy today, to post some random musings, before I forget.

http://www.marthastewart.com/page.jhtml?type=content&id=channel4760173&site=blueprint

I happened upon this wonderful, darling skirt, and I really want to make it. I suspect payday (Friday) will see me rummaging through the ultrasuede on the market stall!

I went to a wedding last night. It was lovely, really, wonderful. It had a beautiful simple elegance to it- the bride carried a cloud of gypsophilla tied with organza ribbon for her bouquet...which I caught! She had made individual cupcakes for her wedding cake, and bought the flowers for the tables that morning. We arrived horribly late as we got very lost...it was in Chigwell, and we ended up in Barking- neither of which is anywhere near where we live, in Chelmsford! But we were made to feel welcome- and best of all- I did not stress. Being late for things makes me really stress usually. Even though our lift was late and we got lost, I did not get all hot and prickly as usual, but went with it- I was pleased.

Another thing- I saw a programme on Channel 4 about how obesity can be really quite dangerous in pregnancy, and even cause risk to the unborn child. I had never really thought about it. While I am not obese, or trying to get pregnant at the moment, I am a little heavier than I would like to be, and I am getting married next year...so I have decided it is time to look at eating more wholefoods and seasonal fruit and veg, and cutting out some of the chocolate and bits.

As for exercise, plenty of nice long walks in the park, picking up autumn leaves and so on I feel. Definitley not wanting to diet which is a bad word in my book, just cut the sugar and up the good habits a bit!

Happy Saturdays everyone!

Thursday 14 September 2006

My One-Hundredth Post!

As dusk fell last night, the air turned cooler suddenly, and then a rushing noise filled the air. The rain simply fell down out of the sky, hitting the ground so hard it made a kind of mist. Then, the three hour thunder-and-lightning extravaganza began.

To begin with, we had the blind in the living room down, as thunder and lightning terrify me. They actually make me jump, and I hate the storm headaches I get. But our blind is a little narrower than the window, so I could see some of the flashes anyway- and decided I would rather see them properly.

So we had the blind up, lit our candles, and sat and watched what was a really spectacular storm. There was lots of sheet lightning, and once or twice it was really hard to tell what was a train going by (the train line is at the bottom of our garden) and what was thunder!

I sat on the sofa with my tea, and cut out Christmas cards. Have I mentioned what I am doing for my Christmas-cards-for-work yet? I am making paper angels that will stand up- very simple, all in white. Then I am pricking a design around the hem of their dress, and brushing some gold on for a halo. After that I am going to make each one a scroll that says 'Merry Christmas'. I have cut out the angel shapes with scallop scissors.

It was quite a cozy evening really, sitting sipping tea, watching the storm, making cards and chatting to Carl. Our dear little snake was all hidden away in his tank, as I felt like doing this morning. He curls himself up, then tucks his head under one of his coils. He is all miserable and sad at the moment as he is getting ready to shed. He won't eat for a couple of weeks or come out to play until he finally sheds, and then he is right as rain again- I hope he sheds soon, as it makes me sad to see him so blue.

When I walked to work this morning, I put on my pink sandals to go with my long pink skirt and sparkly pink hairband (I wore a white top, so it was not a pink overload!)- well, when I got to the subway crossing, I discovered that one end was completely flooded! I had to back out, go back down the road, cross on the crossing there and go through town to work instead. A nice little adventure detour with which to start the day!

Wednesday 13 September 2006

Drawing On Your Resourcefulness, Not Your Resources

"I am sure no one needs me to spell out the benefits of a do-it-yourself approach to Christmas. In the present economic climate, as the cliché runs, the high cost of this annual saturnalia, coupled with the thought of all the bills to come, must make parents everywhere come out in a psychosomatic rash round the time of the first frost. The solution is to draw on your resourcefulness rather than your resources, in other words, do-it-yourself.

Without going to the lengths of breeding one’s own turkey, and brewing one’s own liquor (though I’m all for that too) it is possible to slash the cost of Christmas at a stroke by making presents, cards, decorations in the peace of one’s own home (let others tramp the cold, wet streets and elbow their way through crowded stores) from a variety of inexpensive materials. It’s not only possible, and financially desirable, it’s also entertaining, absorbing and thoroughly rewarding, as I hope this book will demonstrate.

First, I’d like to veto the notion that home-made articles need apologising for. This attitude is hopelessly out of date, and belongs to the Age of the Amateur when home-made suggested flaccid jumpers with pompoms at the neck, wee felt Scotties to pin to your lapel and sinister disembowelled dolls into which you inserted your carefully folded nightdress. Nowadays, we say not home-made but hand-made, and complacently await envious oohs and ahhs. Not since Victorian times as there been such a fever of knotting and beading and patching…quite seriously, there couldn’t be a better moment for do-it-your-selfishness-the handmade look is fashionable and sought after…"


How I sighed with pleasure at reading this passage the other day! Although it is about Christmas (only one hundred and something days away!) it sums up what I love about making things and crafting in general, in cooking, in living the way I do-drawing on your resourcefulness rather than your resources. Although, having said that, I do think if you are going to go to the trouble of crafting or cooking, you should do it with nice things. No point labouring over a scarf to have a scratchy nasty result, or baking a meant-to-be-sumptuous chocolate cake with cooking chocolate! Although…it is nice to know craft and cooking can still be done when funds are low…

But enough, I digress! Read through that passage once again. Now tell me when it was written? This year? Last year? 1975! From a book by Jocasta Innes, that I picked up at the car boot sale that we did, for 20p…..

Tuesday 12 September 2006

What I Did In My Holidays...

Oh, I have had the most wonderful week off work! Well, I say off work- I did a lot of work, just not at the library…

If you don’t know about the Seasonal Scrub, pay the lovely Alison a visit at www.brocantehome.com you won’t regret it! The Seasonal Scrub is, in essence (for me at least ) a kind of spring cleaning in the fading days of summer, to make the home ready for cozying in for autumn and winter. It needs to be warm enough that you can throw open every window in the house, and dry plenty of clothes on the line, but cool enough that you feel all autumnal afterwards!

The Seasonal Scrub is a focussed burst of cleaning rather than decluttering- so before I embarked upon the Scrub itself, I had a major throwing-out session.

Then I spent the week scrub-a-dub-dubbing, dusting, hovering, pulling out the sofa, turning the mattress, turning out the cupboards and drawers…and now everything sparkles and is tidy and clean, and home.

Such bliss! It was pretty exhausting, but it is a kind of exhilarated exhaustedness, to know that for just this moment, everything is in its place! After all the scrubbing, I got to do the fun part- choosing which ornaments and things go on display for now, which throw to put on the sofa, which oils to burn, candles to light, and music to play. I love the puttering so much…

Today I Am Wearing

I went to town on Friday, to buy, of all things, some temporary tattoos. Dear Carl and I went to a murder mystery dinner that evening (lots of fun!) and his character was a boxer called Mike Bison- and he needed tattoos for his costume!

While I was in town, on my temporary tattoo mission, I spotted a dress in New Look that made me do a double take- before I knew it, I was trying it on, then getting in line to pay for it! And today, I am wearing it.

It is a wrap dress- I have wanted one for ages, but this was the first one I have tried on that is flattering! It has a collar and deep v-neck, and ¾ sleeves. It comes just below my knee, and is in a wonderful scarlet red. It makes me feel all slinky, and has a 40’s vibe to it. Better yet, it was only £12!

I painted my nails red to match, and have red lipstick on today too.

What are you wearing today?

Saturday 2 September 2006

Fabulous Friday

Today I am working, so yesterday was my Friday off. I went to see Mum, and we spent the morning shopping for clothes. Now I love clothes, but rarely seem to get to shop for them. I worked out that although I have done functional clothes shopping (you know, I need an outfit for a wedding, I need new shoes for work) I have not gone out and done browsing 'I don't need anything, but am going to buy something just because I love it' shopping for six years, when I started working at the library.

Oh, the joy that is Asda! In a town a half hour drive away from where Mum lives, they have opened a whole shop just for clothes! It is so, so cheap. It was amazing to be able to pick up things and not worry about how much they cost- to be able to risk falling in love before looking at the price label. I tried on lots and came away with some treasures.

1) A pair of new slippers for dear Carl- soft grey, to keep his toes warm.

2) A new pair of slippers for me- gorgeous pink ones, with pink pom poms on! Some of the money goes to Breast Cancer, so they are fabulous in all ways!

3) A long, flared at the bottom pink suede-style skirt, with a belt of pink beads (that I am going to make a necklace out of). Fully lined! Washable! Soft! A miracle!

4) My green t-shirt top that I am wearing today - see post below

5) A tight fitting yet flattering jumper in Nigella blue- similar to that which Nigella wears

Then, in the evening Book Club. We discussed PopCo, which I did enjoy very much, and shall probably read again. We also had a lady visit to do a focus group on Fair Trade. It was interesting to see the varied responses and opinions to the same adverts and products.

And now...today I am herding the books back to their shelves like naughty sheep who have escaped.

Today I Am Wearing...

...my new green top- oh, I love it! It is so, so soft to wear, all silky and slidy against my skin. It is long sleeved with a sweetheart neckline. It is almost made out of ladies vest material, but in a moss green colour. It has a velvet ribbon around the neckline, then some pretty lace that lies against my skin. I am wearing this with my long denim skirt, and my new alice band. Since I got my hair cut, alice bands are going to be my signature thing I think. This one is very, very think, and a dull pink glittery colour. It doesn't sound pretty, but it feels pretty- and one or two people have asked me where I got it (the wonder that is Asda!) so it can't be that bad! What are you wearing today?