Saturday, 12 July 2008

All Change

You can probably blame all the rain we have been having on has been reflecting my mood recently. I am sure in the future I will look back on the last few weeks and see things differently, but for now I am struggling to cope with some changes.

I won't go into too much detail as I really want this to be a lovely place to visit, but I decided I had to explain why I have been silent so long. You see, the doctors are unable to tell me with certainty if I am pregnant or suffering from cysts on my ovaries. The long list of symptoms I told the doctor made him think I was pregnant, to the point of getting out his little wheel thing to predict the due date of the baby. When I failed the test, he slid it back into a drawer and called a colleague who put forward the cysts theory. I have been for blood tests and I get those results in a week. From there, who knows? The worst thing, apart from the awful nausea is the not knowing. I don't want to get attached to a baby that does not exist, but neither do cyst-adorned ovaries fill me with joy.

In the spirit of change I left work the other evening and walked straight into the hairdresser and had my hair cut. It is still longer than my profile picture, but is a lot shorter than it was. I like it better now it has some shape. It is a 30's style bob, and I feel like I should be wearing nightie-dresses and sparkly jewellery.

I feel tired by happy this evening, as we have had a real turn-out of our living room. Every single thing has been moved, cleaned, dusted or hoovered. We are soon to be taking delivery of a lovely new home for our little snake, and to fit it in, everything had to move. The writing desk is now where the snake was, who is now where the tv was. the tv is where the book cases were, which are now where the sofa was! I have rearranged every book I own, and made a dispaly of our wedding photograph, the wedding photographs of our parents, Carl's dried buttonhole, and a pretty pink polka-dotted tea cup candle.

We have a lavender candle burning, and I am trying to feel positive. I have felt soothed just sitting and blogging again, and visting some of my favourite blogs, so I will not be away so long again.

I think I hear the kettle whistling.....cup of tea for you?


knitteroo said...

Dear Mimi. So sorry to hear you've been having a rough time, but it sounds like you're staying positive. Keep it up.

Wishing you the best,

fairycakegirl said...

Hope everything works out okay for you. Keeping my fingers and toes crossed for you sweetie!

Anita said...

My thoughts are with you... and this is always a lovely place to visit!

Tash said...

I am so proud of you, girlie. It took me ages to get it out onto the 'net before I took the jump but if it's made you feel better then it's only a good thing!

You're always in my thoughts :)

I am still working on your little parcel, bear with me! I am half asleep after not getting back home until 5am - I'll tell you about that when I phone :) Don't I sound like a dirty stop-out?!


P.s. I got your wonderful parcel through the post and it is perfect - I cannot thank you enough. The magazines are brilliant, I can't believe I haven't seen them before! As soon as I get paid I think I'm going to subscribe, just for their loveliness :)

Moonroot said...

My dear Mimi,

You have my sympathy. I hope all turns out well for you. It's good to stay positive, but it's not good to bottle things up (voice of experience here!). I think the people who read your blog regularly care about you and will be quite happy for you to 'off-load' your feelings here if that helps you, even the negative ones.

Sending good thoughts your way.

Anonymous said...

Hello Mimi,
Hope all is well...I have been thinking good thoughts for you...
Kathy L from Colorado

Anonymous said...

Dear Mimi,
I'd like to send many blessings on your current challenge. I've been in a health situation that was challenging and found when I took time to nurture myself through that time I was better able to handle it. Take this time to give yourself undivided attention. Sips of tea, lighting a candle, saying a positive affirmation like "All is well", are all things that can soothe one when life throws us curve balls. Recharge and renew your energy with herbal tea and soothing music. Flow with the rhythm of your body, cuddling with your husband, talking with your Mom. All of these things are soothing and can help you to build a nest of serenity which will help you face the world.

Many Blessings