Yesterday, someone asked me how I have been since I last saw them, and what I have been doing. In that moment, my mind went blank. I have only been in my new job 4 weeks, but it feels like forever, and it expands to fill every drop of my life at the moment. I go in early, I stay late, it is incredibly stressful, but I love it. Poor Carl is working worse hours than me recently, so I am doing all the cooking and cleaning and so on, which I do not mind in the least bit, and have always felt like I wanted to be the main one to do these things, but it means I am tired, tired all the time. I know it will pass, I know soon I will slip into the groove, but for now, it feels as though I work, come home, cook, eat, clean, sleep, work. I don't blog anywhere near as much as I would like to.
But let us look at the chinks between the hours of work, the little slips of time here and there. I manage to read quite a bit, snatching minutes before sleep closes my eyes to read just a page more. I mentioned the other day that I designed my first knitting pattern. I plan, oh, how I plan. I plan recipes and dinners and parties and days out and sketch out blog posts in my mind, think about Christmas and making gifts and all the things I want to do.
I seem to appreciate the simple things more and more, the beautiful nip in the air this morning which feels like a whispered promise of autumn to come. A pot of tea with a friend. A sharp pencil on plain paper. A new magazine. The softness of a well worn sheet and gentle warmth of a duvet. Clean air filling my lungs. All blissful.
Managing to discover new blogs like this one http://marigoldjam.blogspot.co.uk/ and reading things that echo half-formed thoughts in my own mind, and my heart aches with the loveliness and sadness of it all. Treasuring handwritten recipes from my Mum, even though she is still very much with us, thinking about one day when they are all I will have left, and they will be all that are left of me.
Something I have been doing, which I haven't posted about much recently, is thinking about the moon. I believe I may have posted something a time ago about how women's cycles are traditionally tied to the lunar cycle. I know from many years of working with the public that we always had more disturbed people round the full moon. I don't think that it is such a big leap to accepting that the moon controls the tides because of gravity, to the idea it might affect how we feel on certain days. Tonight is not only a full moon, but a blue moon, the second full moon within a month. Looking at how I have been feeling this week, I am not surprised. I have struggled slightly this week, felt like I was swimming against the tide. And this morning I awoke, and somehow felt as though something that had been jammed was unstuck.
I certainly don't think that the moon can bring a tall dark handsome stranger into your life or anything like that, more that it can be a kind of barometer of how you might be feeling, a kind of weather forecast.
Enough of that though. I am not wishing the last days of Summer away, but oh autumn, I am so ready for autumn!
Wherever you are, I hope the blue moon is shining on you and you have a wonderful weekend