Sunday, 22 May 2011

Tea and Sympathy...

...well its another post from our old flat, as we have not yet got our internet service up and running at our new place. I am missing posting regularly, I have so much to share with you! Pictures of our new home, and from my new walk to work (I have found a delightful path that takes you between some back gardens from Victorian terraced houses, all poppies and everlasting sweetpeas, so beautiful!). I have adventures to tell you about, new crafting to show you, some book reviews and recipes too. As soon as our internet is up and running, I will be here to share it all!

There is something else I want to share though, before then. I found out on Thursday evening that I have been made redundant from my job at the big library. I still have my little library which is a small comfort in terms of security both emotionally and financially (although it pays half of what I get for the big library) but in some ways it is no comfort at all. I feel shell shocked and almost like I am grieving. I wasn't alone so there are others suffering too but I am finding it hard not to be selfish and just concentrate on my own feelings right now.

I know in time I will look back at this and see it is a wonderful opportunity, but I have worked there since I was 18 (I will be 30 next year!) and count many of my colleagues as dear friends. I am having a few days off to acclimatise to the news before I go back in, on a notice period of not quite three months.

I am more or less past the crying stage, but I do feel horribly sad and numb, and really worthless. I feel like I have been judged and was not good enough. I have no confidence in my own judgement any more, and although there have been moments of smiles at silly little things and lovely messages from family and friends, I just, so bad.

I don't like this to be a sad place, but I do want it to be a proper reflection of my life, not just edited to show the good bits. So, will you take out your favourite tea cup with me, and share a cup of tea while I try to heal from this and plan the next steps forward? If you listen carefully, you can hear the clicking of my needles as I try and knit my way into a soothing rhythm and regain a bit of equilibrium in my life.

With love to you all,



Jackie said...

Dear Mimi,
I am raising my bluebell patterned cup and wishing you the very best of luck, and guidance, to a new and happy position.

Anonymous said...

So sorry to hear of your redundancy Mimi...Im sure when you settle down from the shock you will have a Plan B. Maybe this is a sign for you to stretch your wings further afield. Who knows what fabulous job awaits you around the corner. Im sure you will soon be your happy self again. At least you have a new house to take your mind of things. Hugsss Cookie xx

Dinahsoar said...

I am so sorry to hear about your job loss. It's not you dear girl, it's the times we live in.

Here in the states multitudes are experiencing the same. You are not alone. Not long ago we experienced similar. Life changed for us, but is is still good.

It helps me to think-- when things change-- that perhaps had they not, I might be in the wrong place at the wrong time. I do truly believe my 'suffering' is not for nothing. It is material for sacrifice.

With that in mind I can accept, rest and even embrace the change. I learned after many hard lessons that kicking against the pricks only nets you sore feet.

Sometimes the things that come out of the hardest times are amazing and would never be borne, except through our adversity.So keep heart and do not faint.

Never forget--God is in control and a very present help in time of trouble.

I look forward to seeing your new place when you get back online. When you mentioned the back gardens of the Victorian houses my mind went to Charleston SC here in the states. They have some beautiful back gardens which you can peek into if you walk through the neigbohood near Battery Park. It is a feast for the eyes and soul.

Moey said...

When one door closes, another one opens. I know it's easy to say but it really is true. Hang in there and don't take it personally. I'm sure it was strictly a business decision. There's something wonderful out there waiting for you and as my mum used to say, "what's for you won't go past you."

Yvonne said...

Mimi, From one librarian to another I am so sorry about your bad news at the big library. Right now it seems sad but maybe in a few months it will end up being a good thing.

Our library budget is constantly being cut so no one knows in these uncertain economic times how our jobs will play out in the future.

But remember this, It wasn't you it's just money and the saving of it in their eyes. Hang in there and better days will come.

Anonymous said...

(From an occasional reader of your site who has never commented before but enjoys her visits here very much ....)
I am so sorry to hear about the redundancy. I work in the public sector too (25 years now) and this latest round of 'reorganisation' is the worst I've ever known. They are rarely fair and I've seen plenty of excellent people go. Been there myself and it makes my heart sink for you. But ... you do seem to make the best of opportunities and I have an inkling that you will be fine (eventually - it does take time). Now I'm just off to make that tea in my best blue-and-white cup. Here's to you! (Angela)