The morning started well, with tea for two in my favourite teashop with a friend I used to work with. We had an appointment to learn about the latest restructure we will be going through at work, and although we were both apprehensive, it was nice to find a quiet pocket of time together.
Alas I cannot share any of the details of the restructure, and to some extent feel I shouldn't be commenting at all, but as I shall be going through the process and it is worse news than I was expecting, I feel like I can't not share that this is going on in the background.
But life goes on. I have my new secondment coming, and my current secondment is keeping me busy. Life goes on.
And after I had been at my desk for half an hour, sorting out a lot of problems which had sprouted over night, my phone rang. It was a message from my sister-in-law to say that my poor husband's Nan was fading fast in the hospital, and if we wanted to see her, we needed to leave then. So I had to phone Carl at work and relay the message. He left and we dashed across to the hospital, but got there ten minutes too late.
It seems that since this morning, and even in the last hour, she went down hill very quickly. I suppose, looking at it logically, if you have to go, surrounded by most of your family and going quickly isn't a bad way, but it is still so sad, and hard to look at logically. Life goes on though. An hour later, we were sitting together as a family sharing memories of her, and life around us was going on. Everything just keeps on keeping on.
We have come home, poured tea. I am so tired. I don't know if it is the emotion of this morning or this afternoon or both. Maybe it is the rain pattering on the window. Maybe it is just that I am tired. But I am so, so tired. To bed, then, to sleep. And when we wake up, a new morning, because life goes on.