Sunday, 3 April 2011

Cold Comfort

It is just as well that you read these posts with your own voice in your mind, and do not have to listen to least for today, as I have gone down with a cold and am very husky and croaky sounding! Last night I just could not sleep at all, and was by turns hot and cold, and in the end I got up and opened all the windows in our living room, and sat drinking cool water in the dimly lit room with cool breeze fluttering through the windows. I sat for a few hours reading and and resting my eyes by turns. Although my cold is undeniable (I seem to be saying atishoo every five minutes!) I wonder if the coming changes are anything to do with my sleeplessness last night. I can't deny I am really excited about our move and our new home and the fresh start, but this is the first home I lived in with my husband, and we have been here 7 years. Suddenly, leaving seems really sad, even though we only rent so it was never going to be forever, and there are plenty of reasons for us to go. I don't want to stay, but I don't want to leave either! How very contrary. Tonight we must fill in forms for reference and credit checks to be returned tomorrow. We hand them in tomorrow then wait to hear back. I need to contact our current landlord to see if he will let us out of our current contract a week or two early. So much to do, so many people to notify, contracts to end, new ones to arrange. I know it will be worth it, but it is scary still. So tonight I plan to have a warm bath and take my book to bed with some chamomile tea. I am trying to think about all the positives, seeing this as the biggest Brocante Home seasonal scrub that I have ever done, and thinking about all the lovely new domestic routines I can set in place. I am sure I mentioned this in yesterdays post, but I can't wait to have a kitchen table! In less than a month, all change! I know I posted about this only the other day, but I think I need to keep talking through my feelings so I can get to grips with them. At times like this, I have a line from an Alanis Morisette song going through my mind - "...and every little thing is going to be fine, fine, fine..." I know it will be fine. Give us 6 weeks and we will be tucked into our scrumptious new way of life and I will have so many photographs to post...but getting from here to there seems an awful lot of hurdles away! Wishing you a peaceful Sunday evening love Mimi xxx

1 comment:

Dinahsoar said...

I really do know how you feel. We have moved many many times and it is always a bit overwhelming. And sad. But the busyness moving requires doesn't allow much time for pining or misery once it all gets underway-- so the sad gets pushed back while you bravely forge ahead and before you know it the new overshadows the past.

It's in those wee small hours or moments-- when you contemplate it all-- that the melancholy can wash over you. And cause you to doubt and wonder.

But the light of day demands a clear head, clear thinking and getting with the program, saving you from yourself.

Hope your cold does not get you down too much. They can be miserable.