Friday, 27 January 2006

Tights Torture

The injustice of it. That is what has really rankled me. That is why I have been stomping about with a face like thunder, muttering and raging. (You might think that this is a fearsome sight, but sadly, it appears not. Dear Fiance told me that if I was a bit less comical during my storms I would do well).

You see, mornings are usually a little fraught. I start of with miles of time stretching ahead of me, but suddenly, the top I want to wear has vanished, in a puff of smoke. And my security pass, kazam, gone! My hair takes longer than it should to dry, and always, always, the only pair of tights in my drawer has a ladder. (I know, I know I could lay out my clothes, always put my pass in the same place and everything, I know, it just somehow never happens)!

So, yesterday, I sailed off to the shops and bought myself a brand new ten pack of tights. Ah ha! This morning, my early morning start, would go like a dream. And so it did, until I went to put on the tights. Despite being the same size, colour, denier, manufacturer, these tights just would not go on. Seeing as I have lost a few pounds over the last few weeks, I must conclude that the tights have got smaller rather than I have got bigger. Feet went on fine, over the ankles, fine. But as I was pulling them up my calves, I got the feeling that they were going to be nowhere near long enough. And sure enough, I was left with the crotch a good four inches south of where it should be, and the waistband no where near my waist! It is not even as though I am some willowy limbed giantess, I am five feet five...if I stretch a little!

Which of course necessitated a frantic scramble for another pair of tights which took more time than it should, and all I could think was oh! The injustice! I tried! I planned out what to wear, I made sure it was ready. I checked the whereabouts of my pass! I bought new tights! And now my fiance is giggling at me because I look a comical sight whirling about the room with half mast tights, semi blow dried hair and an expression of injusticed fury upon my face!

At least, comfort can be taken from the fact that surely, surely with a start such as this, the day can get nothing but better? We shall see...

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